Stop! You're Making My Skin Crawl!

This morning, as I was sleepily grabbing a box of cereal from the pantry, I turned, stepping on something a bit squishy. When I flipped the light on I instantly began running in place and shaking my limbs like an octopus with turrets. There, staring me down and probably cussing me out was a pissed off hairy spider. That I just stepped on. With my bare foot. My bare foot people!

This beast was blocking the door, I knew there was no way he'd let me leave the pantry alive, especially after I had just taken the last bit of Cocoa Krispies. I had to act fast. I hurdled the monster, ducking so I wouldn't slam my head on the door frame, rendering me unconscious and easy prey to this carnivorous garden spider. Goosebumps tickled across my body as I desperately tried to forget the feeling of his body maniacally caressing my toes. I turned the corner, a bit too sharp, jarring my shoulder into the wall. Where is a shoe! Damn myself for deciding to straighten up before bed. I heard a russle down the hall, he was after me! There! There by the garage door, my old tattered running shoes, covered in grass from the lawn mower, sweet saviors! Grabbing the shoe I sprinted back down the hall, prepared for battle. Raising the shoe high above my head I prepared my best Braveheart battle cry, when I made the final turn into the kitchen I saw my sleepy two year old, sweetly rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and softly asking, "Mommy?"

No! Not my baby boy! Take me instead you heartless arachnid! My son stepped forward, inches away from Boris the Spider who had now brandished his machete, an evil grin spreading across his thin lips. Spiders have lips, right? My motherly instincts kicked into full gear and in one sweeping move I wrapped my son in my left arm moving him safely behind and SQUIZISH! Boris is defeated!

Ick. I still get the heebie jeebies thinking about it.  My bare foot, yelch. This event became a discussion with my best friend and led into a list making session of what makes our skin crawl. If you eliminate insects my list is pretty small:

1. Clowns! (I bet you were wondering what that picture had to do with Boris. Side note: my Dad owns this mask, I avoid their house for the month of October). Yes, clowns. It's a real fear: Coulrophobia. No, I did not have a traumatic experience at a circus, I love the circus. This came about because of my grandmother. My grandmother was a shopaholic and organized hoarder; I'm sure that was a fun combination for my grandfather. On occasion my brother and I would stay the night and I was lucky enough to get the room with her collection of ceramic, musical jazz clowns. If that wasn't bad enough, they would often malfunction in the middle of the night. There I was, a sweet, little child asleep amidst the awful mix of varying potpourri scents only to be jarred awake by the playing of trombones, saxophones, trumpets and drums by the sinister jazz clowns. The light of the moon twisting their red, smiling lips into sneers. Thanks Grandma. This commercial is hilarious and pretty much sums it up.

2. Ceramic Dolls. I bet you didn't see that one coming. Seriously, they're creepy. Just look:

3. Raw Chicken. Disgusting, slimy, and for a dead piece of meat it can be quite wiggly. I can't touch it, it makes my skin want to shrivel and hide. Yes, I cook it, but I use tongs and a scrunched face until it is no longer raw. Strangely enough, raw meat doesn't really have the same effect on me. Unless I think about what I'm putting my hands in when I make meatloaf, if that thought enters my mind I turn vegetarian for at least a week.

I'm sure there are more, but I can't handle any more of these kinds of thoughts.

Love Rocks

I have found a lovely piece of procrastination, imagination heaven! Polyvore! Never heard of it before today and I am in love! I think I'm terrible at putting outfits together; I've started pre-shopping online, copy/pasting the items I like into an outfit, running them by my British husband who, like most Brits, has a better fashion eye than I, and then going to the store to purchase the researched items.

Then I found Polyvore. It lets me play with outfits of all types, put everything together, and voila! I feel like a real fashion designer, oh how I'd love to be a real fashion designer. Below is my first attempt, I call it Love Rocks. What I want most is that unbelievable leather jacket. But alas, i don't think they carry that at Target or Express. Oh well, fantasies, fantasies.

p.s. You can even follow me and my blundering fashion ways on Polyvore, if you are so inclined.

Love Rocks by stylebydaisyrose featuring skinny fit jeans

Friday Fashion Fantasy

I know I ripped on Prada yesterday, but if one day my Target budget explodes, here's the Prada I'd consider.

What The?

Today's "What The?" comes from Prada. Proving that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. I would imagine these would only look good for those who live in extremely cold climates. These are also available in colors such as pink, sky blue, purple, and green. Lovely.

Another Prada "What The?" Well, really it's more of a purchaser "What The?" are the Prada key chains. First of all...fugly. Second, who would spend hundreds of dollars on a key chain? Even if hundreds of dollars was the equivalent to my 50 cents to you, isn't there something better to spend that money on? Like a charity or food or gas or bills?

p.s. If that link doesn't take you directly to key chains, go under the E-store, Women's, Small Accessories page.

The Most Beautiful Chair

I'm going to hold my fingers back from the call of the keyboard and simply let the pictures of these gorgeous chairs take you away to a blissful retreat, perhaps with book and wine glass in hand...

Design by Kenneth Cobonpue

Friday Fashion Fantasy

Cars! I am a car fanatic and if I had the money I would have a very large garage full of beautiful sports cars. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. The past few days I've been knocked out with strep throat and during one of my miniature naps I had a dream that I owned a pink BMW Z4:

This was a very peculiar dream, I'm more of an American Sports Car type of girl and while pink has grown on me the past few years, on a car? However, I would never turn this car down if offered to me. Here are a few on my car wish list, which is really too long to show all of them, in no particular order:

Nissan GT-R (in Pearl White please)

This next one may actually be at the number one spot. It was the first car I ever drove, I was 2 years old, sitting on my Dad's knee "steering" as he drove through the neighborhood. After that, he couldn't get me out of the car or any driver's seat for that matter. May I drool, I mean introduce, the 1976 Trans-Am Firebird. The only color option, in my opinion, is black with the gold firebird: 

You know, I may end on that note (especially since I have a ton of work to catch up on from being ill). However, others on my list include any year Camaro (A '94 Forest Green, T-Top Camaro was my first car), any year Corvette (though I'd love a stingray body style and the split window). Yes, and pretty much any classic American Sports Car.

*Please click images for "original" source. 

Let's Twirl Our Work Woes Away



It's Monday morning, 8am-ish, and it is already nearing 100 degrees. I'm currently behind my gray desk, looking at my gray walls with white whiteboards (go figure), encircled by the gray and blue chairs that rest on the gray and blue carpet. I'm waiting for professors to post grades so I can determine if any of my nitwit students are going to be ineligible for the next semester and all I can think about is this picture.

I wish I could be in a field, surrounded by color, lots of color, barefoot, twirling in a lovely pink two-toned summer dress with a fun umbrella. A picnic blanket with a cheese and fruit platter and a bottle of wine wouldn't be too bad either. Although, being a native Oklahoman, if you ever see a sky that shade of green, or any shade of green, you better take cover because a tornado is coming to say hello.